from bad to worst

HEY ! happy chinese niu year ! :)))
heeee.......yuppie....suppose to be happy...
why am i not happy ???
hmmm....new year new beginning :))
it shall be it :))
ehhh...this year horse body not in good health sia...
e heart....den easily get down with flu...
temper.....MUST CONTROL!!!!!
think before u talk okie........... :D
HEH!
hmmm...CNY...as usual....
go my ahma there.....wait for everyone to come......
play with baby......
den went to play pool, movie and pub.........
as usual de....haha....den get drunk, nag.......
HAHAHAHAHA.....that's life! ACCEPT IT! :D
i've been trying to change my life this year...
- not going band
- mix with non-band member [except for some la~ :)) ]
- diet style
- life style
CHANGING MY FATE
DON WANNA ACCEPT WAD IS GIVEN TO ME
SERIOUSLY HATE THE WAY I LIVE
things are just getting from bad to worst.......
well....sometimes i do tend to tell my friends abt my stuff...
but....wad i want is...TO CHILLLL~~~
I DON WAN PPL TO SYMPATHY ME
changing e way i live at this moment really is torturing...
getting further away from e things i'm interested in...
i'm sad....really dunno wad can i do if i nvr go band...
haix...ya..i can do lots of stuff....but, will i be happy ? :(
and the changes in my home..
u may say i'm rude to u...and in fact, i should respect u...
i know....but..the things that u've done really makes me
don wanna care about u.........
my attitude has been changing from bad to worst...
so do my sister ( she's worst)
i'm aware of that....but wad can i do ?
sometimes i'm really very frustrated.....
i'm scared i'll go insane one day....serious...
actually i'm afraid to go thru all these by myself....
i'm scared...
really really really really.....that kind of intense fear in me....
long term fear will make someone go crazy and timid ! :(
i should be glad that our situation is not that worst..
but......i just cant handle it.....
i'm so useless....i've been trying to be more independent..
but to no avail...
telling ppl all these is useless...i know..
they cant do anything to it...sometimes u'll be nag by them still...
more worst...add on to ur frustration...
but wad else can i do other than ranting out ?
I REALLY REALLY SUPERLY HATE STAYING HERE ALR
economy crisis --> more frustrations
IDIOT !!!!!!!!!
i've been trying real hard to be e obedient child...
i admit i don like studying...i'm trying to study...forcing myself..
cuz i know, if i nvr study, i wont be able to have a good life ltr on in life..
i've been getting more and more matured...
in certain sense...i guess...
i'm like forcing myself to smile at times now..
i use to be a very lame gerl half a yr back...
ppl tends to sae i'm cheerful blahx blahx.......
of cuz i feel happy after i heard tt...but now....
i tends to sulk very often....i'm sure ppl ard me do gets sick of it...
but...i'm sorry :(
i don mean it..but i just cant hide my emotions nowadays...
i'm really stressed...u may say i'm fake...
i don mind...cuz where got e third daughter gets stressed up?
usually is e oldest what..
i wanna chill out with my friends at times...
but, no money, no mood no everything...how to chill ????
furthermore, now u have to face e real society...
the kinds of ppl that u've met......
fake, straightforward, honest, nice, shy, backstabber....
all kinds.......u'll get used to it soon....
ARGHHHHHH !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :(




~kuku gerl~